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I'm not sorry

Sep. 28th, 2012 | 02:42 pm

  Dropping the pin for the tenth time that day she had no idea what else to write but she wanted some excuse to keep thinking of him. The break-up had been nasty; it had been both of their faults of course, they had both said things that could never be taken back. They had broken each other’s hearts piece by piece. That would never change but at least she had the memories. At least she could remember what they had. Snapping the book shut Kayla closed her bright crystal blue eyes letting a sigh escape her lips. She would never forget Nick, he had been her first love, her first everything. Kayla had loved him like no other but she would never regret that they ended; though she would always regret how they ended.

  Two years since the day they broke up to the day. Nick had been Kayla’s best friend and she had been his. It was funny how in the same moment they picked up each of their phones just looking at them. They had both done this action a million times before. They missed each other.  Nick’s thumb hovered over the call button on his phone wondering what she sounded like; just wondering how she was.

Broadway, tours, more music, nothing would ever change; Kayla sighed sitting on Nick’s bed watching him pack for the hundredth time in her life. “You promised.” The whisper hardly left her lips as she looked up at him tears brimming her eyes. “You promised you would stay close and spend time with me.” Kayla loved Nick, more than anything and she wanted him to be happy but she missed him. She had no idea how long or what all he would be doing but Kevin wanted a break and Nick didn’t want to stop.

Looking at her Nick’s deep eyes blinked once; he wasn’t one for words or knowing how to tell someone how he felt but he couldn’t just stop everything. This was Nick’s dream. “I’m sorry.” The words left his mouth quickly as he stuffed another piece of clothing into his bag. “I’m not cut out for doing nothing.” He told her striking her deep. They both knew she had never asked him to quit.

One single wet tear fell down her cheek; quickly wiping it away she ran her fingers through her thick spiral curls. “And I can’t sit here and wait for someone to actually show that they love me.” Her voice was calm though her words were hurtful. “I can wait three months; I can wait five even, but not knowing when or if you will ever be back?” Her voice paused as she thought about what she would say next. “I can’t Nicholas, I just can’t.” Tears flowed quickly down her cheeks. Standing she walked over to him kissing his lips with a ghost touch before she quickly left the room before she broke down anymore.

  Running his hand over his forehead Nick dropped his phone before standing and walking away from it and back into the studio. Kayla pushed send swallowing; one single tear crawled down her cheek when she heard the phone was no longer in service.

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